


Feelings Are In The Air Tonight

by Fuji09



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bill Denbrough & Eddie Kaspbrak Are Best Friends, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Comfort/Angst, Cute Eddie Kaspbrak, Cute Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Cute Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is Bad at Feelings, Eddie Kaspbrak is So Done, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Little Shit, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Grinding, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Eddie Kaspbrak, Pierced Eddie Kaspbrak, Pierced Richie Tozier, Punk Richie Tozier, Rating May Change, Resolved Sexual Tension, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier in a Band, Richie Tozier is Bad at Feelings, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Sassy Stanley Uris, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Stanley Uris is So Done, Stanley Uris is a Good Friend, Stanley Uris is a Little Shit, Tattooed Richie Tozier, Top Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:46:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuji09/pseuds/Fuji09
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak was in love with his best friend Richie Tozier. That was no secret to anyone except Richie himself. Everyone in their friend group knew, strangers could tell and always thought they were dating, that awkward “oh no we’re just friends” was always said in unison.Eddie was in love with his best friend alright, He constantly daydreamed about kissing Richie’s lips, he imagined they were soft, he thought of pulling those unruly black curls, and he thought of sliding his hands over every inch of Richie’s lanky, creamy pale body. He wanted to see those gorgeous blue eyes blown out with arousal, he wanted to feel how hard-“Eddie! Earth to Eddie!”Eddie was jarred out of his daydream, pink tinted his cheeks and he smiled apologetically at Bev, of course she brought him back to reality. They were at a bar waiting for Richie’s band to play, they always came to support their fellow loser whenever they could. Richie played covers, he played original songs he wrote, but Eddie didn’t care if he sang Baby Shark, he would never miss a show.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 20
Kudos: 55





	1. I Could Get Used To This

**Author's Note:**

> I thought about this college AU fic and planned it out while I was listening to Everlife's song I Could Get Used To This (which is in this chapter). I really hope y'all enjoy. I felt the need to write chapter 1 for several hours today so I did it and I'm glad I did because I am happy with what I wrote. No trigger warnings for this chapter.

Eddie Kaspbrak was in love with his best friend Richie Tozier. That was no secret to anyone except Richie himself. Everyone in their friend group knew, strangers could tell and always thought they were dating, that awkward “oh no we’re just friends” was always said in unison.

Eddie was in love with his best friend alright, He constantly daydreamed about kissing Richie’s lips, he imagined they were soft, he thought of pulling those unruly black curls, and he thought of sliding his hands over every inch of Richie’s lanky, creamy pale body. He wanted to see those gorgeous blue eyes blown out with arousal, he wanted to feel how hard-

“Eddie! Earth to Eddie!”

Eddie was jarred out of his daydream, pink tinted his cheeks and he smiled apologetically at Bev, of course she brought him back to reality. They were at a bar waiting for Richie’s band to play, they always came to support their fellow loser whenever they could. Richie played covers, he played original songs he wrote, but Eddie didn’t care if he sang  _ Baby Shark _ , he would never miss a show.

Richie was amazing at playing the guitar and singing, he was also amazing at songwriting but he felt mediocre at best. Everyone else knew how talented he was, Richie just needed to believe it for himself.

  
  


“Sorry Bev, spaced out,” Eddie apologized.

“It’s fine, I just wanted to let you know Richie will be on soon.”

Eddie smiled and made sure his outfit looked good, he tried to dress up to catch the eye of a certain musician, but still kept it casual enough that he didn’t look like he was trying, he had changed his outfit five times before leaving his dorm. He always got that way before Richie’s band played anywhere, Bill his roommate and best friend, always finding it hilarious and teasing him about it.

He finally settled on black skinny jeans, Richie had told him his ass looked  _ fine  _ in those jeans and he knew it was just a joke but he liked to pretend Richie meant it. His play flirting was hard to hear sometimes since Eddie wished for Richie to actually mean it.

He wore a red and black crop top as well, it was one of the band tees for Richie’s band, he knew they were for girls but he liked how they looked so he bought one and he was glad he did. Richie hadn’t seen him wear it yet, so he hoped Richie would think he looked good in it.

His bright red  _ Converse  _ completed his outfit, he made sure his hair was perfect, his dark brown hair growing out and feeling softer than ever, his hair even started to get waves to it now that it was longer. He thought about adding eyeliner to make his brown eyes, or as Richie likes to call them, doe eyes, really stand out so he did just that. A little bit of lip gloss to draw attention to his pink lips, his tan skin a contrast to his lips.

His nails were painted black and red, Richie’s band colors, and he changed out his septum piercing to a black hoop. He felt like he looked good, he felt like he looked really good. Maybe good enough to catch the eye of the boy he had pined over most of his life.

  
  


“I wonder what he will play tonight,” Eddie said casually.

“He told me he wrote a new song and he was going to play it, he was adamant about it, said it was something he needed to do.”

Eddie was puzzled but didn’t think too much of it, his beer was finally kicking in and he was getting a good buzz, he knew this would be a good night, and then he watched Richie walk on stage and grab his gorgeous black and red electric guitar. Richie looked  _ good.  _ Richie really played up the eyeliner for being on stage, his glasses magnifying his eyes as well so his blue eyes really stood out, he had black painted nails, and he wore ripped black skinny jeans, a ripped black faded band tee, and a black and grey flannel over it unbuttoned, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

That had Eddie feeling weak at the knees, something about a guy rolling up his sleeves really got to him, although it being Richie made it even worse for him. He noticed Richie wore the black combat boots Eddie bought him for his last birthday and it made his heart soar every time he wore them. Richie was covered in tattoos and had several piercings, which is how Eddie ended up getting his septum pierced, all thanks to Richie for giving him the courage to go for it.

“Thanks for coming out tonight! Everyone having a blast?” Richie yelled to the crowd.

The audience cheered as the band set up, Eddie and Bev stayed back at a table but Richie could still see them and when he locked eyes with Eddie, the look on his face was priceless, he looked in awe and also with such fondness it made Eddie feel like the most loved person in the world, platonic love of course. Richie smiled and gave a wink before bringing his attention back to his audience and Eddie felt his cheeks grow warm. He heard Bev giggling and knew she had seen the whole thing.

The rest of their friends were in the crowd, Mike, Bill, and Ben loved to be right in the chaos, Stan always sat at the bar, until Richie went on and then he would go to Eddie and Bev. Right on time Stan walked up and handed them each a new drink.

“What is it?” Eddie asked.

“Some fruity concoction, I told the guy I don’t want to taste the alcohol at all but I want to feel it hard.”

Bev giggled and Stan rolled his eyes, knowing that Bev found his wording funny. A twitch at the corner of his lips proved he was amused but he still pretended to scold her for having a dirty mind.

“Alright everyone! Let’s party!” Richie yelled and began to play.

First Richie started off with a cover of Heat Of The Moment by Asia. He loved classic rock and always asked Eddie which songs were his favorite. Next he played a cover of Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News. They both had an obsession with  _ Back To The Future,  _ possibly because they both crushed hard on Marty McFly as kids, but also nostalgia.

A few more songs later and Richie had the crowd get quiet so he could speak, he seemed nervous, something Eddie had never seen before, Richie was always in his element on stage, he never got stage fright and he lived for the applause.

“Alright everyone. I know we have been enjoying playing these cover songs, but now we are going to play something I wrote. It's really personal to me, I wrote it for a certain someone, someone that I hope feels the same way about me.”

The audience got loud with their awws, then cheering to encourage Richie to play his original work. He took a deep breath, looked behind him to his band mates, nodded his head, and then he started.

  
  
  


_ A dozen roses arrive, what a perfect surprise _

_ You greet me with a kiss, I could get used to this _

_ You think that I look the best, when my hair is a mess _

_ I can't believe you exist, I could get used to this _

_ Because I know you're too good to be true _

_ I must have done something good to meet you _

_ Cause you wrote my name across your hand _

_ When I freak you understand _

_ There is not a thing you miss _

_ And I could get used to this _

_ I'm feeling it coming over me _

_ With you it all comes naturally _

_ I’ve lost the reflex to resist _

_ And I could get used to this _

Eddie’s eyes widened as he listened to the words, Richie had romantic feelings for someone, he wrote them a song and all Eddie could do was just stand there and listen as the love of his life sang about another person. Eddie wouldn’t cry, he wouldn’t let himself. Richie deserved to be happy, he deserved someone like who he was singing about, and apparently there was a someone.

_ You love the songs I write, you like the movies I like _

_ There must be some kind of twist, but I could get used to this _

_ Because you listen to me when I'm depressed _

_ It doesn't seem to make you like me less _

_ Cause you wrote my name across your hand _

_ When I freak you understand _

_ There is not a thing you miss _

_ And I could get used to this _

_ I'm feeling it coming over me _

_ With you it all comes naturally _

_ I’ve lost the reflex to resist _

_ And I could get used to this _

Eddie could see the emotion in Richie as he sang about this person. Bev and Stan were smiling and seemed to really be enjoying the song, Eddie wished he could too. He knew Richie would come over and ask his opinion and Eddie would have to fake a smile and rave about the song that was breaking his heart. His stomach felt sick and he wanted to leave but he knew if he did that everyone would know something was wrong, and he couldn’t do that to Richie.

_ If there's a dark side to you, I’ve never seen it _

_ Every good thing you do, feels like you mean it _

_ you wrote my name across your hand _

_ When I freak you understand _

_ There is not a thing you miss _

_ And I could get used to this _

_ I'm feeling it coming over me _

_ With you it all comes naturally _

_ I’ve lost the reflex to resist _

_ And I could get used to this _

Eddie felt his heart breaking, he could feel tears threatening to well up in his eyes but he kept it from happening. He would  _ not  _ ruin this big night for Richie, he would be the best friend to him as he always was, nothing changed, they were still Eddie and Richie, the only difference was Richie was in love with someone, and he didn’t even tell Eddie about it.

_ Cause you wrote my name across your hand _

_ When I freak you understand _

_ There is not a thing you miss _

_ And I could get used to this _

_ I'm feeling it coming over me _

_ With you it all comes naturally _

_ I’ve lost the reflex to resist _

_ And I could get used to this _

_ I could get used to this _

_ Oh yeah, yeeeeeeah oh _

_ I could get used to this _

The audience cheered and Richie looked relieved but also ecstatic. He seemed surprised that they liked his song that much. He was sweating, and the sheen of sweat on his his skin should not have looked that good to Eddie. Richie thanked everyone for coming out and then he grabbed a water bottle and chugged it until it was gone. Eddie watched as Richie’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed the water down quickly.

Richie ran over to Mike, Bill, and Ben first since they were closer and the huge smile on his face made Eddie feel even more guilty for feeling heartbroken. After Richie hugged the three boys he ran over to where Eddie, Stan, and Bev were. First Richie pressed a loud kiss to Bev’s cheek, after she swatted him away while laughing, he hugged Stan while Stan shook his head but hugged back. Then he turned to Eddie.

“Eddie my love! What did you think?!” Richie asked excitedly.

“It was great, Rich. Amazing as always.”

Richie hugged Eddie, lifting him off the ground to spin him while Eddie protested it, yelling at Richie to put him down. Laughing hard, he finally put Eddie down and ruffled his hair. The huff of annoyance, fake of course, as Eddie tried to fix his hair was the reaction Richie was trying to get.

“So you really liked it? Even the song I wrote? What did you think?” Richie asked, eyes pleading for something.

Eddie wasn't sure what Richie was looking for, was he that self-conscious about his writing? Or maybe he just wanted his ego stroked again. Eddie smiled as best as he could, hoping it didn’t look fake, it did to Bev and Stan, but Richie was too high on adrenaline to notice.

“It really was amazing.”

After a round of drinks on Richie, Eddie left for the night, he was exhausted and wanted to finally be alone and cry into his pillow, holding in tears really was draining. He walked back alone, enjoying the cool air, his thoughts going back to Richie. Richie was in love with someone, Richie was in love with someone and wrote them a song. Richie was in love with someone and wrote them a song and he didn’t tell him.

A tear slipped down his cheek and he shook his head, he wouldn’t burst into tears in public, he was almost back to his dorm, then he could cry all he wanted. Bill was still at the bar and probably would be for several more hours.

Finally back in his room, he wiped off his makeup, changed into his sleep shorts and one of Richie’s old t-shirts,  _ how fitting, _ and then he jumped into bed and wrapped himself into his blankets and cried into his pillow.


	2. Arcade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most logical thing for Eddie to do now that he knew Richie was in love with someone else, was to avoid him like the plague. The next few days he was always “busy with homework” or “studying”. He barely replied to Richie’s texts, and if he saw Richie nearby, he turned and ran the other way. Yes, Eddie was handling his heartbreak quite well if you asked him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, I know y'all are gonna hate me with how frustrating Eddie will be and I look forward to y’all’s comments about how idiotic Eddie is being lol

The most logical thing for Eddie to do now that he knew Richie was in love with someone else, was to avoid him like the plague. The next few days he was always “busy with homework” or “studying”. He barely replied to Richie’s texts, and if he saw Richie nearby, he turned and ran the other way. Yes, Eddie was handling his heartbreak quite well if you asked him.

He also hated not being around Richie, he missed that stupid smile and he missed the constant touching. He was avoiding the rest of his friends as well, even Bill, and they were roommates. He knew he couldn’t go on like this forever, maybe he just needed to find someone to date, get over his stupid crush on Richie, and get laid. He remembered a couple weeks back one of his classmates had given Eddie his number, at the time Eddie didn’t see a reason to text the guy but now, he figured he could give it a try.

He dug around in his notebooks, he had slipped it in one of them, he had planned on throwing it out later but he forgot, now he was glad he forgot. He finally found the slip of paper, a phone number and the name Connor on it. He took a deep breath, he could do this, he could go out with someone and forget all about his feelings for Richie.

He typed in the number into his contacts and created a new contact under Connor, he didn’t know his last name so just his first name would do. He thought about what to say, he was so bad at this but he needed to try. He could do this.

  
  
  


**Eddie:** Hey, it’s Eddie. Sorry it took so long to text you, I got busy with schoolwork and yeah, hope it’s still cool I text you.

  
  


**Connor:** Hey! Yeah, totally cool, I understand. I have actually been visiting my cousin for the past week and just got back yesterday, so pretty good timing.

  
  


**Eddie:** Sounds like fun! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out, soon?

  
  


**Connor:** Yeah, I was hoping you might want to, we could get dinner? Or if you want it super casual we could watch movies in my room?

  
  


**Eddie:** Will there be popcorn if we watch movies in your room?

  
  


**Connor:** And cuddles if you play your cards right ;-)

  
  


**Eddie:** Your best bet to get cuddles out of me is for us to watch a scary movie.

  
  


**Connor:** Good to know. So does tomorrow night sound good? Maybe around 8?

  
  


**Eddie:** Yeah! That works, see you then.

  
  


**Connor:** See you tomorrow cutie ;-)

  
  
  


He did it, he set up a date with Connor and he was on his way to getting over Richie. He had to admit Connor was cute, he had curly brown hair and green eyes, he was a little tan, and had a sweet smile. Totally a guy Eddie could see himself dating. He decided not to tell his friends, he really didn’t want Richie to find out.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


“Come on Eds! Open up! You can’t hide from me forever!” Richie yelled, as he banged on Eddie’s door.

Eddie opened his door swiftly, he looked annoyed and one wrong move away from blowing up. He had been getting dressed and making himself look nice for his date with Connor. He picked out a pair of his short jean shorts, figured he might as well show some leg, and to keep the casual look going, he paired it with an oversized red sweater that hung off one of his shoulders. He had put on a little makeup, not too much to where it was noticeable, just enough to bring out his key features.

“Wow, you look hot,” Richie said breathily.

“Shut up, what do you want? I’m kinda busy.”

“Nice to see you too…” Richie grumbled.

“I’m in a hurry so spit it out Tozier!”

“I wanted to take you to the park, it's supposed to be a really clear sky, we can stargaze,” Richie explained.

“Can’t. I have plans.”

Richie looked at Eddie, who wasn’t even paying attention to him, he was fixing his hair, and trying his best to not look at Richie. He was so annoyed that Richie would come to his room and suggest doing something extremely romantic, but also something they did together a lot, days after Richie sang the song he wrote about the person he was in love with.

“You what? With who?” Richie asked, confused.

“None of your business, now please go so I can finish getting ready.”

“What about after? Please? I really wanted to take you out there tonight,” Richie begged.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Another time.”

Eddie turned around and saw the sad look on Richie’s face, he almost felt guilty, but he reminded himself he needed to do this, he needed to get over Richie and giving in to Richie was not the way to do it.

“I know I’ve been busy, I’m sorry, we can hang out soon, ok?” Eddie asked, hoping it would soften Richie’s disappointment.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Have fun doing whatever,” Richie said as he waved his hand dismissively and walked out the door.

  
  
  


Eddie arrived at Connor’s room and knocked on the door, surprised to see the door answered by someone who wasn’t Connor. The boy had bleached blonde hair, blue eyes, skinny, and wore jeans and a plain white t-shirt. He had a nice smile and Eddie hoped he had the right room.

“This is Connor’s room right?” Eddie asked, hesitantly.

“Oh yeah! I’m his roommate Victor. He should be back soon, said he had to go get popcorn. You can come in,” Victor said as he opened the door for Eddie to come inside.

Eddie walked in and sat on Connor’s bed, he felt a little awkward but Victor seemed content talking with his friend over on his bed while a complete stranger was in his room. Victor and the other guy, Eddie had never seen him before, were watching something on a laptop and making comments here and there.

Thankfully Eddie didn’t have to wait long for Connor to get back, the look of relief on Connor’s face was adorable, like he expected Eddie to ditch him or something. He smiled and Connor sat down next to him and set his bag on the bed.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize my roommate would be here, I thought he was gonna be out tonight. We could hang in your room if you want?” Connor suggested.

“Yeah, that’s fine with me, my roommate won’t be there so we will have the room to ourselves.”

  
  


Back in Eddie’s room, they set up Eddie’s laptop, put in one of the movies Connor had brought,  _ The Conjuring _ , and Connor got the popcorn made. They cuddled up next to each other, sitting close, their thighs touching, and munched on popcorn until the jumpscares got to be too much for Eddie and he was worried he might choke.

“Fuck! How do you watch this?” Eddie yelped as another jumpscare happened.

Eddie had been covering his eyes with his hands, Connor had put his arm around Eddie early on in the movie, Eddie was leaning into Connor and the warmth was nice, he just wished he wasn’t jumping every five minutes. The suspense was intense and Eddie was ready for the movie to be over.

“Need a break?” Connor asked.

“Yes, please, I’m sorry, I don’t watch much hor-”

Eddie was interrupted by Connor pulling Eddie close and pressing his lips to Eddie’s. The sudden kiss caused Eddie to gasp and Connor took that opportunity to ease his tongue into Eddie’s mouth. Connor’s lips were soft, he kissed so gently, like he was hesitant to push too far. It was sweet and Eddie kissed back as he wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck.

Eddie ended up straddling Connor’s lap, he liked when his hips were squeezed, he liked when he felt fingers slowly trace down his sides under his sweater, and he liked when Connor would groan at a particularly nice moment of friction between the two of them. Eddie found kissing Connor easy, he wasn’t thinking of Richie, he was enjoying being touched, and he really enjoyed when Connor broke the kiss to lightly kiss down Eddie’s jaw. When Connor’s lips landed on Eddie’s neck, he felt teeth and slight pain, but then his tongue soothing over the bite. He felt sucking in the spot and he realized he was getting his first hickey.

He had kissed guys before in the past, but Connor was the first guy to give him a hickey and he found he enjoyed it. A moan slipped out and he felt Connor's lips smile against his skin. Connor marked up Eddie’s neck and he swore he was close to coming just from that alone, he wondered if Connor would want to take things further, he was definitely up for it, in more ways than one. The furthest Eddie had gone was a drunken handjob at a party, it was thrilling not knowing how far Connor would take him.

He felt Connor undo his shorts but his hands went under the jean shorts over his ass, not the front like he expected. Having his ass squeezed felt good, he liked how Connor borderlined on painful with his squeezes and kneading. Eddie’s hips jerked involuntarily which Connor took as a go ahead to pull Eddie closer by his ass, and grind against him.

“Does that feel good?” Connor whispered.

“ _ Yes.” _

Connor got more aggressive with maneuvering Eddie to grind down on him, Eddie whimpered and felt his orgasm building, if he kept this up, it would be over soon. It looked like Connor could tell, a devilish smirk on his face had Eddie swooning. Eddie slipped his fingers in Connor’s hair and pulled, the growl from the back of Connor’s throat went straight to Eddie’s dick.

“You close?” Connor asked, already knowing the answer.

“Fuck, yes,”

“You’re so pretty, you know that? Damn, and your ass, I want to fuck that sweet ass of yours so badly.” Connor whispered into Eddie’s ear.

Eddie moaned, and he felt like he was about to burst, he was so close and- then a knock at the door had him halt his movements. He was about to yell at whoever was at the door to fuck off, his cheeks turning red at the thought of the person hearing him. He hadn’t been too loud so he should be fine.

He stood up, gave an apologetic look to Connor, who seemed unbothered by the interruption, and walked over to the door buttoning up his jean shorts. He was sure his hair was a mess but he could pass that off as having taken a nap. He opened the door just far enough to see who it was, of course it had to be Richie fucking Tozier.

“Hey Eds, I noticed your light was on and figured you got back early so want to go stargazing?”

Eddie squirmed under Richie’s gaze, he saw the look in his eyes the moment he stopped talking, he had noticed the hickies on Eddie’s neck. A flash of hurt appeared on his face before a look of annoyance replaced it.

“What the fuck, are those hickies Eddie?!”

Uh oh, Richie had actually called him by his name and not some stupid nickname. Eddie knew that meant he was upset but why? Richie had no right to be upset with him, all he was trying to do was get over Richie. Eddie furrowed his brows and stood up straighter.

“So what if they are?” Eddie asked defensively.

“I don’t understand! Why? Holy shit! Do you have a guy in there with you now?!”

“Yeah, I do! What of it? I can do whatever or whoever I want, Richard. I don’t need your permission,” Eddie said as his voice started to grow louder.

Richie looked pissed, he looked the angriest Eddie had ever seen and he would be lying if he said he didn’t think Richie looked hot as fuck in that moment. Richie almost looked jealous, which didn’t make sense considering he had someone he was in love with.

“What the fuck?! Who is it? I just wanna talk to him.”

“No Rich! Now go away, we can talk later, I’m on a date…” Eddie trailed off.

“I’m not leaving! I need to know why the fuck you’re doing this!”

“You really want to know? Well fine, it’s because of that song you wrote!” Eddie yelled.

Richie was taken aback, the look of shock on his face almost made Eddie feel guilty, his mouth hung open for a moment before he collected himself. Eddie wished they weren’t doing this with Connor in his room clearly hearing everything. He was going to know Eddie was using him as a way to get over someone, and that wasn’t really fair to Connor.

“You are fucking someone because of my song?” Richie asked softly, almost sounding defeated.

“I didn’t mean for you to find out,” Eddie said gently.

“Is that why you have been avoiding me? You said you liked it. I thought…”

“It was very sweet Richie, honestly it was but it also made me sad and I just needed some space,” Eddie explained.

Uncomfortable silence followed, neither knowing what to say, Richie looked as if he was trying to keep from crying, Eddie felt so guilty for hurting Richie, but Richie was the one who hid that he was in love with someone. Dropping it in front of a ton of people where Eddie had to fake a smile was hard on him.

“You know what Eddie? Fuck you. You didn’t have to fucking  _ avoid  _ me and go fuck the first dick you found, I get it, message loud and clear. Sorry I let myself be vulnerable for the first time ever. I won’t make that mistake again.”

Eddie was shocked at Richie’s words, how dare he be mad at him? Richie was being a petty asshole and he was sick of it, he knew Richie wouldn’t completely understand since he didn’t know Eddie had a crush on him, but he didn’t think he would act like a jerk.

“Fuck you, stop trying to guilt me into doing what I needed to do for myself!” Eddie yelled.

“Whatever, enjoy the micropenis the guy probably has, I’m sure most of his dick is in his personality if he’s anything like the guys you find attractive.”

“Oh yeah, I have  _ really  _ shitty taste in men,” Eddie said as he rolled his eyes.

Richie walked away with a huff, that was the worst fight they had ever had and Eddie felt so hurt. His heart would surely die from how much he hated but loved Richie. He loved Richie, and he really wished that he didn’t. He wanted to throw away those feelings but how do you get rid of feelings you have had since you were little kids?

Eddie shut the door and returned to his bed, he sat down but refused to look at Connor, he was embarrassed and he wasn’t in the mood for sexy time. Maybe Connor would leave without saying a word, he could only hope but of course, as he felt the bed shift and Connor moved to sit next to Eddie, he knew Connor wasn’t going anywhere. He felt Connor’s arm wrap around his back and squeeze his arm gently in a comforting way.

“You ok? That sounded pretty rough.”

Eddie responded by burying his face in Connor’s chest and crying, he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, tears of pain, anger, and frustration. He cried for a long time and Connor held him the entire time, rubbing his back and telling him it would be alright, over and over.

  
  


Once Eddie’s crying had trickled down to sniffles, he told Connor everything, about how he had loved Richie since they first met, how he could never bring himself to tell him, how he dreamed about Richie and once teenaged Eddie learned about jerking off, thanks to Richie, he always thought of Richie as he quietly touched himself in the middle of the night. He told Connor of all the reasons why he loved Richie, the stupid shit Richie said and did that he would pretend to hate but he knew that Richie knew he didn’t really hate it.

He told Connor about all the times Richie protected him from bullies, how he never once made him feel broken and fragile like his mother always did. How Richie would bring two sets of lunches to school because Eddie’s mom only packed gross bland stuff. Richie would sneak him candy, sneak him out of the house after his mom was asleep to just hang out and be stupid teenagers. He embarrassingly admitted, that he applied to every single college Richie had applied to, to make sure they would stay together.

Then he explained about that song, that damn song that no matter how hard he tried, his mind played it on repeat. He explained how hurt he felt, how upset he was at himself for not being brave enough to tell Richie, but also upset that Richie never told him and they told each other  _ everything.  _ Except Eddie’s secret crush, obviously that was never told but everything else was.

Connor listened, he laughed at funny parts and he rubbed Eddie’s back at the painful parts. He was sweet and Eddie felt like a complete douchebag for using Connor to try to make himself feel better about Richie.

“Well Eddie, that is hard for sure. I’m sorry, you deserve to have Richie love you back. Don’t feel bad about using me to try to get over him, it was fun and I enjoy casual hookups. I’m not upset, I promise. I’m here for you, ok?” Connor said as he was grabbing his things to leave.

“Thanks, I am glad I messaged you, our date was really nice before Richie showed up.”

“Fuck yeah! You’re a pretty good kisser, I’m totally up for hooking up if you ever want to,” Connor said with a smirk.

Eddie laughed as he walked Connor to the door, then stood in the doorway smiling at the cute guy who in all honesty was really sweet. They said their goodbyes and Eddie got dressed for bed. He heard Bill come in a few hours later but he pretended to be asleep, he was worn out and didn’t feel like explaining why his face was tear-stained.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


“I still can’t believe you convinced me to come to this Bev. I really don’t want to listen to Richie sing lovey dovey shit.”

Bev frowned at Eddie and shook her head. She could be so motherly sometimes it was almost scary. She placed her hand on Eddie’s and gave a reassuring smile.

“You have never missed one of his shows, once you’re done fighting with him you would have regretted missing it,” Bev explained.

  
  


Before Eddie could respond, Richie’s band was announced and they shuffled up and got their instruments ready to play. Eddie noticed Richie didn’t look so good, he had dark bags under his eyes, almost like he hadn’t slept for a couple of weeks, his clothes were wrinkled and possibly dirty, his expression looked drained and distant. He wore no makeup, his hair had not been brushed, and he was possibly hungover.

Richie didn’t get the crowd revved up, he simply just started playing the song Love Hurts by Nazareth, then he played All I Want by Kodaline. Then it was Say Something by A Great Big World. Richie had never played such sad songs before, Eddie was confused, did their fight really upset Richie that much? Was his mental health declining? So many reasons as to Richie’s complete change in his demeanor and music, he thought about asking Stan, but they weren’t speaking.

The crowd seemed just as confused as Eddie, the atmosphere wasn’t happy, in fact it looked as if a few girls were actually crying. Bev had a pained look on her face, Stan stayed at the bar so Eddie could barely see him, but he could tell Stan looked upset. Eddie hoped that the show would be over after that song, he wanted to leave, his stomach felt uneasy and the alcohol wasn’t helping. He was about to ask Bev if she knew what was going on, his curiosity and worry getting the best of him but Richie began to speak.

“Uh, so we have one more song. It’s something I wrote this week actually. I have yet to play it without crying so yeah, just a warning,” Richie said with a humorless laugh.

_ A broken heart is all that's left _

_ I'm still fixing all the cracks _

_ Lost a couple of pieces when _

_ I carried it, carried it, carried it home _

_ I'm afraid of all I am _

_ My mind feels like a foreign land _

_ Silence ringing inside my head _

_ Please, carry me, carry me, carry me home _

_ I've spent all of the love I saved _

_ We were always a losing game _

_ Small-town boy in a big arcade _

_ I got addicted to a losing game _

That’s when it hit Eddie. Richie had confessed his love and he was  _ rejected.  _ Richie had a broken heart and while they were fighting. Eddie felt like shit, maybe that’s why Richie wanted to hang out so badly, he was hurt from being rejected and Eddie just made it even worse. He felt terrible, he had to apologize, he needed to be there for his best friend.

_ Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh _

_ All I know, all I know _

_ Loving you is a losing game _

_ How many pennies in the slot? _

_ Giving us up didn't take a lot _

_ I saw the end 'fore it begun _

_ Still I carried, I carried, I carried on _

_ Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh _

_ All I know, all I know _

_ Loving you is a losing game _

_ Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh _

_ All I know, all I know _

_ Loving you is a losing game _

Eddie saw that Richie was crying, he wasn’t letting it affect his singing, but tears fell down his face and it made Eddie’s heart hurt to see it. He just wanted to wrap Richie up in a hug and hold him until he felt better.

_ I don't need your games, game over _

_ Get me off this rollercoaster _

_ Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh _

_ All I know, all I know _

_ Loving you is a losing game _

_ Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh _

_ All I know, all I know _

_ Loving you is a losing game _

The last line was when Richie’s voice finally cracked. He took his guitar off and handed it to one of his bandmates that gave him a sympathetic look. Richie quickly ran off stage and left through the back exit. No one clapped, in fact a few “awws” were heard. The line at the bar was a lot longer, apparently everyone needed to feel a little better after that show.

“Bev, why didn’t you tell me how bad Richie was doing?”

“He asked me not to,” Bev replied.

“Fuck, I need to talk to him.”

“He is going straight back to his dorm, might want to try to get there before Stan gets back, he might not let you in,” Bev warned.

“Seriously? Whatever. I’m leaving, hopefully we can make up so I can comfort him.”

Eddie didn’t comment on the weird look Bev gave him, she seemed almost confused but now was not the time. Eddie walked back alone, trying to figure out what to say to Richie. He was going to apologize for sure, but he really didn’t want to explain why he got so defensive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how was it? Annoyed and want to slap Eddie upside the head? This chapter was quite angsty and I do apologize for that, I always hate making Richie hurt.


	3. Eddie Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie had arrived at Richie’s dorm room, he heard music playing, more sad songs, and he took a deep breath. He could do this, he could put away his pride to help his best friend, even though he knew it would hurt like a bitch. He knocked and waited, praying Richie would answer the door.
> 
> Unfortunately, luck was not on Eddie’s side tonight, he saw the door open, but was immediately greeted by Stan’s scowl. Now Stan usually looked pissed in some way, resting bitch face and all, but right now, Stan looked ready to kill Eddie.
> 
> “What the fuck do you want?” Stan barked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter y'all have been waiting for, its not the end yet though, there is still one more chapter after this, although I might do an epilogue as well, I haven't decided yet, depends on how writing the next chapter goes. I'm so happy this fic has gotten lots of love, I know a lot of people find band AUs corny but once I had this idea in my head, I couldn't shake it and had to write it.

Eddie had arrived at Richie’s dorm room, he heard music playing, more sad songs, and he took a deep breath. He could do this, he could put away his pride to help his best friend, even though he knew it would hurt like a bitch. He knocked and waited, praying Richie would answer the door.

Unfortunately, luck was not on Eddie’s side tonight, he saw the door open, but was immediately greeted by Stan’s scowl. Now Stan usually looked pissed in some way, resting bitch face and all, but right now, Stan looked ready to kill Eddie.

“What the fuck do you want?” Stan barked out.

“I need to see Richie.”

“Fuck no! You’ve got some nerve coming here after Richie’s show! I knew you would, I made sure to get here before you did to keep you away from him,” Stan said angrily.

Eddie recoiled at the pure anger coming from Stan, he felt hurt and he knew he shouldn’t, Stan was Richie’s best friend, he  _ always  _ protected Richie and right now he saw Eddie as a threat.

“Please Stan, I didn’t know he was hurting like this. I want to be here for him, I do care about him.”

“Well you got a fucking funny way of showing it!” Stan yelled as he slammed the door.

Eddie flinched as the loud sound echoed through the hall. He felt shocked, it was like Stan solely blamed him for Richie being in such a bad state. He was about to turn around to leave when the door opened slowly, he saw Richie peeking out looking completely drained.

“What Eddie?”

“Rich! I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were hurting this badly, can I come in? Please?” Eddie begged.

Richie took a deep breath but finally nodded after a minute of silence. He opened the door wider and then walked back to his bed. Eddie walked in and could not believe how much of a wreck Richie’s side of the room was. Richie was never clean and tidy, but he was never  _ this  _ dirty.

Clothes were all over the floor and his bed, liquor bottles, empty drink cans, and candy wrappers littered the floor, and it smelled like Richie hadn’t left the room since their fight. Had Richie really gone that long without showering? Richie’s hair was greasy, worse than he had ever seen, even when they were kids and puberty hit him hard.

Stan was glaring at Eddie, sitting on his own bed, waiting for Eddie to mess up so he could throw him out. Eddie tried to ignore the uneasy feeling as he felt Stan’s gaze bore into him. The tension was thick, almost suffocating, but Eddie did his best to ignore it. Richie had laid back down in his bed facing the wall. Eddie sat on the edge of the bed and picked at his nails, unsure of what to say.

  
  


“Stan, you can go. I think Eddie wants to talk privately,” Richie’s rough voice sounding loud after no one spoke for a good thirty seconds.

Stan stood up apprehensively and walked out, reminding Richie he would be nearby and to call him the moment he wanted him back and he would kick out any unwanted guests, he made sure to stare Eddie down when he said that.

“He’s gone Eddie, now talk or leave.”

“Rich, why didn’t you tell me you were in such bad shape? I know we had a bad fight but I would have dropped everything to help you through this,” Eddie poured his heart out.

Richie turned over, looked a little appalled at Eddie words and let out a dry laugh that caused Eddie to cringe. He saw the disdain in Richie’s eyes, he knew Richie was angry, but he should have been a better friend.

“Did I really need to spell it out for you? Was it not enough for me to embarrass myself on stage and at your door?” Richie asked bitterly.

“I’m sorry the person you liked rejected you, I should have realized that was why you wanted to hang out so badly. I should have noticed something was wrong but I was trying so hard to make myself feel better and I neglected you.”

The look of confusion on Richie’s face was usually cute, even more so when his face twitched slightly as his mind tried to piece things together. He could see that Richie was replaying everything in his head, maybe Eddie got it wrong. Maybe he hadn’t been rejected yet and just missed hanging out.

He needed Richie to say something, anything. He needed to know that they would be alright. Their friendship had always been a little bit different than everyone else’s. They were much closer than normal friends, but that was them, that was Eddie and Richie.

“Eddie, who do you think that song was about?”

“I don’t know, you never told me you had feelings for anyone. I was so upset you didn’t talk to me about it, you have always told me everything and I felt so hurt.” Eddie explained.

“The only reason you were upset with my song was because I didn’t tell you I was in love with someone?”

Eddie nodded, he felt so stupid, it sounded so childish when Richie said it out loud, he just wanted to mend their friendship and be back to normal. He knew he could never have what he truly wanted, but he loved Richie enough to take what he could get.

“I gotta work on something, I’ll see you later, tell Stan he can come back in now, I know he’s been listening at the door.”

“Are you still mad at me?” Eddie asked.

“We’ll talk later ok? I really need to get started on this project.”

Eddie nodded in defeat, he had tried and that was all he could do, so he left, sure enough Stan was listening at the door, surprisingly though, he seemed to look less angry. Maybe he could tell Eddie meant what he said.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


A week later, Eddie and Bev were sitting at their table at the bar again waiting for Richie and his band to get on stage. Bev seemed to be in a better mood, Eddie however looked tired, he hadn’t been sleeping since he spoke to Richie, and every time he tried to talk to Richie, he was ignored or blown off. He gave up and decided to let Richie come to him when he was ready.

“I know you’re trying to help, but I really think I shouldn’t have come this time,” Eddie yelled over the loud crowd.

“Have I ever been wrong about these things?” Bev asked.

“No…”

“Then just enjoy the show.”

  
  


Richie and his band appeared, headed on stage, and worked on getting everything ready to start playing. Richie looked so much better than he did last week, he had on clean clothes, showered, brushed his hair, and even wore some makeup. It also helped Eddie feel better that Richie was smiling.

“Wow, he looks good,” Eddie said breathlessly.

  
  


“Hello everyone! We are back and better than ever! I’m really happy so many of y’all came back after last week’s performance. I promise this week will be better and I wrote a new song, don’t worry, this time I know for sure there won’t be  _ any _ confusion.”

Eddie looked over at Bev confused, but she had a huge grin on her face, she knew exactly what Richie meant, and he hated not being in the loop. Music started up and Eddie listened carefully to Richie’s song.

  
  


_ The cameras captured all of the glances _

_ And all of the chances we missed _

_ We raged and we spun for all of the dancers _

_ The song as it lasted was bliss _

_ But now the years have eaten _

_ The songs we believed in _

_ And nothing is left but the sound _

_ Of six billion people ignoring the magic we found _

_ Oh, but I hear your voice, it calls me like the night _

_ It's singing in each syllable I write _

_ Oh Eddie, baby, won't you come to my arms tonight? _

_ I beg and plead you, please succumb to my charms tonight _

_ I give my heart _

_ But you take it and you break it and you tear it apart _

_ Oh Eddie, baby, won't you come to my arms _

Eddie’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened, did he really hear what he thought he heard? Did Richie really write him a song for him? Could he really be that dense? Had he been missing something this entire time? Richie constantly flirted with him but he was always joking, wasn’t he?

_ When hormones were raging _

_ Whilst sweetly teenaging, we cackled at thoughts of decline _

_ And every chord that the people ignored _

_ Is preserved in my mind for all time _

_ And while the years have clawed at us and tears _

_ Have gnawed at us, the song in my head still resounds _

_ And I hope that one day, dear friend, you will come around _

_ Oh Eddie, baby, won't you come to my arms tonight? _

_ I beg and plead you, please succumb to my charms tonight _

_ I give my heart _

_ But you take it and you break it and you tear it apart _

_ Oh Eddie, baby, won't you come to my arms _

There could be no mistaking it, Richie was in love with him too. Richie wanted Eddie in the same way Eddie wanted him. He felt happy, he felt ecstatic, he was on cloud nine, knowing that his best friend, that he had been in love with since they were children, loved him back. He felt tears fall and he looked over to Bev who was smiling at him, he looked back at Richie and smiled, the moment he caught Richie’s eye, Richie smiled brightly and a look of relief washed over him.

_ So scream and shout _

_ We're burning out like everyone _

_ So face the crowd _

_ Rage at thunderclouds _

_ Just jump into the fire and run _

“What are you waiting for? Go get your man!” Bev yelled.

Eddie nodded and was out of his chair heading to the front, he had to shove his way through people, something he hated doing but it was worth it, he was going to get to Richie and he would fucking kiss him.

He finally got to the front of the stage and when Richie noticed he held out his hand for Eddie. The electric current they both felt as their hands connected made them both gasp, then Richie was pulling Eddie on stage.

He sang to Eddie, the love and adoration in his eyes made Eddie’s heart swell and he couldn’t stop smiling. He was completely in love with Richie, and for the first time, he realized that the fond look Richie always looked at Eddie with, was love.

_ Oh Eddie, baby, won't you come to my arms tonight? _

_ I beg and plead you, please succumb to my charms tonight _

_ I give my heart _

_ But you take it and you break it and you tear it apart _

_ Oh Eddie, baby (won't you come to my arms) _

_ Oh Eddie, baby (won't you come to my arms) _

_ Oh Eddie, baby, won't you come to my arms _

As Richie sang the last line of his song, Eddie grabbed Richie’s shirt and the moment the word “arms” left Richie’s mouth, Eddie’s mouth was on his. The crowd whooped and hollered, whistled and yelled a few slightly crude things, but neither boy heard it.

Their lips were connected and the rest of the world around them was gone, it was just them, kissing for the very first time. It was everything Eddie had ever imagined and more. He now understood what the movies meant when they had fireworks in the background of the main couple during their first kiss. He understood what it meant when couples would say the other made them feel alive. He felt alive alright, his entire body felt a buzz better than any alcohol could ever give him.

Without separating from Eddie, Richie pulled off his guitar, undid the strap to keep his lips locked on Eddie’s and a bandmate took the guitar so Richie could wrap his arms around Eddie and pull him close.

Eddie hummed approval and pulled back for a moment to look into Richie’s eyes, those beautiful eyes stared back, those eyes held all the love and affection he had for Eddie.

“I love you,” Eddie yelled.

“I love you too Eds,” Richie yelled back, then pulled Eddie back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me? I hope it was worth the wait and the pain I caused our favorite couple. The next chapter will have smut in it, just a warning.

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? Please let me know your thoughts, I love to know y'all's feelings on my work. Its a huge motivator.


End file.
